Ripe Grape Photos

Garrett bought some black sheets and set up a little photo backdrop in a corner in the nursery. Here are some of my favorites that he has taken. He's a talented guy (I love him so much!!).

A note about this photo... One of the first things my mother said after she saw my first tattoo, a little panda on my belly, was about how cutely and hugely it would stretch when I got pregnant. Here you go mom, proof you were right--it has almost doubled in size! I didn't really notice the transition until we took this picture since I haven't been able to see it for some time. It's on the dark side of the moon.

The Home Stretch

*Update: Chrissy had her baby girl on labor day! She is healthy and adorable and resting with her mom.

I would first like to congratulate our dear friend Chrissy, whose water broke about 7 hours ago. Her due date is two weeks before mine, so she is a little on the early side. Woo!

According to the 40 week schedule, I am on day 257 of this pregnancy. 36 weeks and 5 days. That leaves only 3 weeks and 2 days until my official due date. Babies born week 37 and after are considered full term. So here's how we're doin'...

Baby:

Baby should be around 13.8" in length and should weigh in around 6.3-6.5 pounds. To give you an idea of size, when I wrap a standard bath towel around the largest part of my belly, there is only about 2 inches of terrycloth overlap. He will gain about a pound over the last month(!)

He has been head-down (that's the normal exit position) for some time now. His feet kick out to my left, and his bottom is positioned under my right lung. When his foot is outstretched, a little two inch wide bump can be seen on my belly, sometimes from across the room. During my last exam, the midwife declared "Well, his head is right down there, isn't he!"

He hiccups for a several minute period every day, which I feel down and to the right, probably where his little shoulders are. It is an unmistakable feeling, a bit like having the hiccups yourself. He practices breathing too, and when I am still, sometimes you can see my belly heaving with his tiny little rhythmic breaths.

He seems to be asleep for large portions of the day, but can sometimes be startled awake by noise or music or movement. He usually responds to a belly rub by nudging back with his little appendages. At least once he has seemed agitated (taking large frequent breaths), he might have even 'crying,' which many babies do in utero. He seemed to calm down with cooing and belly stroking.

Symptoms:

I seem to have been very fortunate with this pregnancy. I have avoided most of the seriously unpleasant symptoms many women experience, and any pain or discomfort I have felt has been very manageable.

Sleeping:

I have been able to sleep well. Although I wake several times a night I can usually get back to sleep easily. I almost think that Garrett's sleep patterns have been more disturbed by my frequent risings than mine. I had about a month during which my stomach had difficulty retaining its contents while I was lying down, and I would wake up sputtering sometimes. Sleeping on my side propped up at a 30° angle and trying to go to bed with a near empty stomach helped. Either due my changing habits or the baby moving down, I don't seem to have this problem anymore.

Contractions:

I have been experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions for some time, but a few days ago they changed character significantly. At first they were just a tightness that spread over my belly and then dissipated after a minute. Now they feel stronger, just like menstrual cramping. The first couple of nights I had them, they were evenly spaced over 15 minute intervals over a few hours in the evening. Last night they came again, but were spaced differently. They seem to change or stop if I walk around (which is one way to distinguish them from actual labor).

Clothes:

Pants and seatbelts are pretty uncomfortable now. Sarongs are really comfy, but I only have two. They are pretty garish, bought to be used only as summer bathrobes, so I feel a little hippy dippy out in them in public. So, for the stylish metro/homosexual at the wine bar before birth class the other day that shot me that disgusted look: I am sorry that my bright orange and yellow butterfly skirt with turquoise tank top offended your urban gray monochrome sensibilities and highlighted my enormous girth. Just remember that my kid's taxes will be paying your medicare bill someday, so learn to appreciate a breeder even if you can't look at her directly because her clothing is too bright.

Cravings:

We have been going through milk at an astonishing rate around here. I'm trying to back off sugar and balance carbs. I think sugar might be winning.

Nesting:

So far I have knitted 1 and 3/4 diaper covers and a stuffed elephant, recovered all the chairs in the kitchen, sewn 3 receiving blankets and a dust cover for the kitchenaid, moved all the furniture around in the nursery again, and accumulated enough towels, clothes, and toys to support this child well into toddlerhood. The house is not clean enough still. The last time I cleaned the floors, a few days ago, would have been comical to see. I can't bend over, really, so after sweeping up little piles everywhere I have to do a sort of pregnant woman ballet grand plie to sweep them into the dustpan. After a few plies, I am quickly out of breath. Then I go sit down for a spell, get up and gather some more piles. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The bassinet (aka pack-and-play) is set up next to the bed now so that we can get used to fumbling around it in the dark.

Books:

Thank You, Dr. Lamaze (a wonderful and entertaining look back at the origins and practice of real Lamaze, not the watered down substance free 'birth philosophy' dreck they peddle now to sell the brand) My mom sent me this book, and I think it was my favorite...

What to Expect the First Year, The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-shooting Tips, and Advice on First Year Maintenance, Wall-to-Wall Baby Blues (the comic strip, for giggles), Baby's first year : growth and development from 0 to 12 months (a cool Norwegian childcare book by Paulien Bom and Machteld Huber), Baby Tips 9 to 12 months

I almost read Natural Childbirth, The Bradley® Method, but I was too irritated by all the little registered trademark symbols to bother.

About a million different issues of Parenthood, the Early Years and American Baby

Movie:

Orgasmic Birth (unfortunately titled, but not useless, this film documents the birth experiences of several families and a couple of nutty hippy families. If you want to see squishy wet little bundles of life wriggling their way out of their incubation pods, this one's for you.)

Infant Care

What does an infant need? There are so many opinions and books on the subject that just asking the question can drive you batty. There are psychologists and parents alike who espouse their own theories on infant care--sometimes trademarked theories, like the 'Brazleton Touchpoints Approach(tm),' or Dr. Sears's 'attachment parenting,' and who could forget Dr. Spock (not the pointy-eared one, the pediatrician). Trendy parenting terms like 'Kangaroo care' or 'natural infant hygiene' are bandied on online bulletin boards and in magazines.

All these must surely have their advantages and are surely helpful to some. Hell, I'll buy into them, it's not like I know any better, but the sheer verbosity in these piles of theories can overwhelm anybody and potentially clutter up what's really important. Also, one must take care when reading, as use of these terms in common conversation is often viewed as the first recognizable symptom of Over-Read Parent Disorder--a serious disorder that is currently overlooked but likely soon-to-be classified by the psychoanalytic community in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. I jest.

So all this emotional and psychological development and all these intangible love and attention setting parenting styles are surely important; but, for the sake of simplification and for my own sanity, I figure that the most important things that an infant needs boil down to the purely physiological at the most basic level (I'll distort Abraham Maslow's heirarchy here):

• food
• sleep
• air and shelter (the most obvious to account for)
  

The indicators that show whether these needs are being met sufficiently can be measured as :

• poop
• pee
• growth (weight/height/milestones)
• body temperature (homeostasis)

(Note: Maslow calls these needs too, but he's dead. I'm not even addressing safety needs and emotional needs here. Those are important, sure, but they aren't physiological needs. Pay attention. Jeez.)

So I figure, based on anecdotal evidence I have gathered haphazardly, that it is WAY TOO EASY for parents to fall into infant care habits that strain all the interfamilial relationships, especially that singular relationship that launched two consenting adults into parenthood in the first place.

I also figure that the easiest way to avoid slipping into those habits would be to have a clear outline of when and how baby's basic needs are being met. With a clear record, patterns can be identified, solutions can be devised to attack problems that arise, and the whole mess can be much more adaptable in the event of a breakdown somewhere.

Of course, a clear record means a chart. I like charts. It is an inherited trait.

I made one today on the Great Computer, so now I have a simplified system for encoding, down to 15 minute increments: feeding times and delivery methods, milk expression outside feedings, poops, pees, and sleeping patterns. There is also space for notes about milestones, poop character, weight (to be taken with a digital fish scale), length, or temperature. I am way too proud of myself.

Since baby is eating a lacticized version what I eat, I will also try to document what I consume during the day. We'll see how long that lasts.

A wise friend of mine giggled when I told her about my Brilliant Chart Idea. I told her how fool-proof and simple it would be, and how much easier our lives would be, how our scientific approach would surely pay off. She said to me, between snorts, "That's a pretty good plan, but you're forgetting something."

"What's that?" I said innocently.

"There's going to be a monkey in your laboratory."

Pregnancy Progression

19wks 5days
Mother's Day, May 10




25 wks
Anniversary at Disney World, June 16

27wks 2days
In the Nursery, July 02

30wks
Flowers Just Because, July 21

Heat Wave!

The heat wave is over! Last week, the temperatures in the Portland Metro area soared to a whopping 107!@&! or so, and since our corner of the universe has such mild summers, we have no air conditioning. We survived by sipping ice water, swimming at the gym, and I slept in wet clothes. My manly hunter husband went out and caught us a used air conditioner from some Very Dear Friends that carried us through the tail end, but the first few days were pretty fun.

The heat wave was rough for the other pregnant ladies I know, too, and there seem to be a lot of those around. My neighbor is pregnant, another neighbor has a four week old, and our dear friend Chrissy is pregnant too. I think this pregnancy thing must be catching.

So it turns out that the 'bun in the oven' thing is true--I am an oven. At 32 weeks pregnant, I am hot all the time, even without the heat wave. Last night the temperature dropped low enough that my husband curled up under the comforter, but I slept half covered by just a sheet with two fans running. Under normal conditions I would have been warming my icy feet on his legs (poor babe).

But, throughout the heat, I did not swell up excessively and had no major negative symptoms, so I count myself very lucky that we survived just fine (though I'm sure my husband could have lived with less whining ;)

How We Spent Our Summer Vacation, or, Edema can be Fun!

Today I am 28 weeks and 6 days along. Garrett calls me huge-iful now, which is a much nicer size indicator than stepping on a scale (which, despite my efforts to be scientific about this process, I generally choose to avoid these days. I had a chart, once, but it just got too depressing to maintain).

In June, we went to Walt Disney World. Garrett had never been before, and my wonderful brother Erik had managed to reserve a week through my wonderful parents' time share system. By luck, we were there for our anniversary. Upon checking in, we were given giant pink buttons proclaiming the occasion so that all the terminally happy employees could congratulate us at every turn.

Because of 'my condition' we could not ride the big kid rides, so we just stuck to the senior citizens' tour. I tried to talk Garrett into at least riding Splash Mountain, but he would not leave my side, proving, yet again, that I have the best husband in the universe. We did manage to 'ride' the Star Wars ride--at least, the disabled version. This means they shut off the hydraulics on the simulator and just ran the movie while we tried to imagine how much fun it would be. For this, we were able to cut in front of the entire line and got the whole simulator to ourselves. It was very romantic, if not a little bit silly.

It was very hot and humid throughout our stay (about 95F/95%), but we still managed to have a fabulous time. We saw Cirque du Soleil there, which was absolutely magnificent, watched a gospel group at Sunday brunch at the House of Blues, went snorkeling in a giant fish tank, went on a 'safari', saw some tapirs and hippos and giraffes (oh, my!), rode all the ‘dark rides’ we could, and ate a marvelous anniversary dinner at a fabulous African inspired Buffet, where, of course, we were wished a very happy anniversary by the staff.

The whole trip was an altogether magical experience, just like the brochures promise.

Edema--Not just another lovely 'unique' girls' name like Chlamydia

There was one pregnancy detractor in all this magical anniversarial bliss. Something about the weather or the travel or standing in lines or all-of-the-above triggered some pretty unpleasant non-pitting edema for me. In other words, my ankles swelled to tree trunk diameter. A bit of research revealed what it was, and revealed some easy things I could do to alleviate it, which worked magnificently. Here is where this entry becomes a tad didactic.**

Edema in pregnancy is often caused by the uterus pressing down on and restricting flow through the inferior vena cava, a huge blood vessel that carries deoxygenated blood from the legs back up to the heart. Not all pregnant women experience this, but it is quite common can be pretty bothersome. The restricted flow causes fluids to accumulate in the ankles. Other, rarer dangerous complications, like preeclampsia or blood clots, can cause edema, but usually it is just a nuisance. With all that fluid accumulation, you can imagine the strain on the other blood vessels. I felt some twitchy discomfort in my legs along with this, and also developed some redness, but since my edema was non-pitting (meaning the swelling did not retain an indentation when poked with a finger) and more or less even on both sides, there was even less of a chance that anything really bad would happen. Be warned, the following section is 100% proselytizing, so skip it if that kind of thing annoys you.

Proseletyzing Section: How To Whoop Edema**

SWIM. If you have access to a pool, use it as often as you can. After getting out of the pool the first day on the trip, my edema had completely vanished (temporarily) in less than a half hour. The water alleviates the pressure on the vena cava because the buoyant force of the water counteracts the weight of the pregnant belly, lifting the belly off that vein. This is part of why water birthing is gaining popularity these days--all that blood flow and buoyancy probably helps with labor pain. The activity of swimming helps get the blood flowing too, so all around it was the best treatment for me. Although the results are only temporary, they mean a world of difference. If you don’t have access to a pool, get in a tub, but try to sit upright and maybe wiggle your legs around or flex the muscles. I found that if I sat up in the tub and elevated my legs, the blood flow was better. Flexing the muscles in my legs sequentially upwards from my ankles seemed useful, too.

MAKE YOUR OWN BELLY SUPPORT BAND OR BUY ONE These are available all over the internet and at maternity stores, but if you’re trapped at Disney World or don’t want to buy one (they can be pretty expensive), this worked great for me: Fold a sarong in half diagonally from corner to corner, like a bandana. Roll it up to about a 3 or 4 inch width. Starting from the middle, wrap the sarong under the belly (like a sling), wrap around to the back, cross over at the small of the back, wrap around to the front, twist at about mid chest (at the breastbone), wrap the ends around your neck and tie at the nape. You should tie it tightly enough so that you can feel it lifting the belly, but not so tight that it causes discomfort. This works quite well and hides pretty well under clothes. Also, unlike the pregnancy support bands from the store, it comes in pretty colors so you don‘t mind that you can see it above the neckline of your shirt. IMHO, this around the neck style gives much more relief than the bands that just go around the lower back, but I haven't tried the other style. My edema is mostly gone these days, but I wear the band anyway because I find the added support really comfortable.

KEEP MOVING Avoid sitting or standing for long periods of time. If you must wait in line for Pirates of the Caribbean for an hour, do lunges or squats or dance like a monkey or 'Do The Freddie'*, ignoring the surprised and quizzical expressions of on-looking tourists. If necessary, cast the glance back at them and they will retreat to tend to their whiny 3 year old. If you must sit, try to elevate your legs. If possible, elevate them so your feet are as close to the height of your heart as you can reasonably get. If you are sitting somewhere where leg elevating is unlikely, you could try exchanging your chair for a giant exercise ball. Not only is this theoretically good for posture, and supposedly for baby positioning, but moderate bouncing can‘t hurt your circulation. Take breaks and walk around.

SLEEP with a pillow between your legs on your side like all your nurses and doctors and midwives and other professional people have told you to already. Some say the left side is best because of the position of the vena cava.

WEAR LOOSE FOOTWEAR Don't give in to the instinct to stick your feet in tight laced shoes and hiking socks like I did. Though it kind of concealed my swelling from prying eyes, it made things worse. I wore loose sandals exclusively after that, and subsequently the redness improved and the discomfort was very much reduced.

DRINK TONS AND TONS OF WATER This is key for all kinds of pregnancy health issues, for this it keeps your blood thinned out for better flow. Camelbacks™ are perfect for this, but since they are expensive and you probably forgot to pack one, you'd probably be better off spending ten bucks at Walmart for a ‘hydration bag’ in the camping isle. Hang that from the hand loop on the back of a backpack with a carabiner or a key ring or a paperclip and zip up the bag leaving the sippy end out. Excellent! Now you look almost as nerdy and weird as I did, and as a bonus, you will have cold water around all the time. Using one of these, I managed to consume at least 3 liters a day. Take that, dehydration! With ice it also kept that apple crisp and cool for snack and kept my back chilled out in the Florida swamp. Low sodium, healthful foods are of course of High Importance. Salty stuff makes me puff up enough under normal conditions.

*DO THE FREDDIE! This is so obviously beneficial it needs no clarifying exposition. What more, the song is snappy and sure made those fifties tweens scream! I'd skip the jumping part. See the video below!



**Legal disclaimer. I am not a doctor or health professional and make no claim to know what is best for anybody. I'm sharing what I learned via research and what helped me. Be sure to talk to your provider about your edema. 'The Freddie' has not been tested or approved by the AMA.

Buddha Belly 5/12/2009

20 Week Peanut, 5/14/2009

Peanut Profile (see nose, mouth, etc on right)

Peanut Spine

Peanut Paw

Peanut at 20 Weeks, 5/14/2009,


Fetus Sexing

Facing front, both arms framing cute face

Peanut legs

Peanut Cross-section

Close up of Peanut Legs on March 12, 2009

Peanut on March 6, 2009 (legs left, head right)

Peanut on March 6, 2009 (legs to the left, head to the right)

Peanut on February 17, 2009 (kind of a blob next to an egg sac)

Trimester in Review

Peanut as of March 12, 2009

Here we are, starting off week 18. Time to review the first trimester. There were tests and nausea and there was book reading. There were ultrasounds and new underwear. This whole thing only goes for 40 weeks, so that means we're almost to the halfway mark, where we will find out the Sex!

Baby:

As it stands now, the little tike weighs 8.5 oz (!) and is about 6" long (!!) from crown to rump! I can feel little kicks and have been for the past few days, which is startling but wonderful to feel. The babe is seemingly completely constructed and looks like a baby-arms, legs, ribcage, head, major organs, eyes and ears and face in place. By the end of this week the little one should be able to hear!

Symptoms:

The Nausea: HAS ENDED! I can declare this now with certainty! (Knock on wood) This is a relief and a wonderful feeling. More than that, my hunger pangs, which at one point were like thunderingly monstrous earthquakes of nausea and pain, have now subsided back to their normal human hunger level. That means no more peanut butter next to the bed and no more emergency hamburger rations at six o'clock in the morning.

My Clothes: No longer fit! I made a sort of early run to Ross to stock up on maternity pants and shirts (CHEEP) and got some very nice presents of cute maternity clothes from very caring folks. My new duds look great, so I don't feel bad about not fitting into my old stuff, which I have packed away. Around week 12 or 13 I also had to upgrade a size in underwear--an abrupt change that took place over a couple of frightening days, not weeks. Since I got clothes a little early, I have not felt like I had to squeeze into one thing. That is very important. If I had waited until I really needed new clothes, I am sure I would have been miserable for the short time when nothing fit and probably would have developed weird body issues. As it is, I'm really digging my new pregnant figure, even my oblong belly button. I am limited on pants quantity, though, so if you notice pants not rotating through the daily selection very quickly, have some sympathy, ok? :)

My Boobs: Are going through a growth spurt of their own. My husband seems to appreciate it, but I continue to warn him that Pride comes before the Fall. One might say their natural frequency has noticably increased as well.

My Teeth: Though this may seem like some fantastical fantasy to all y'all, to my Mother and I this is no joke. I got my first-ever cavity and first-ever filling last week. This cavity, on the chomping surface of a rear molar, is a direct result of my pregnancy. I know this is true because the same thing happened to my mother (on similar teeth) for both of her children, and the rest of her life has been generally cavity-free. Hormones do crazy things. From what I understand, this is not as clear cut a relationship for most as it is for my mother and myself. However, it is well accepted that for most women pregnancy can be associated with an increased risk of gingivitis and cavities (according to my illustrious dentist).

Reading List: From the Hips, What to Expect When You're Expecting, and Diaper Free.

Movie List: The Business of Being Born, Pregnancy for Dummies

First Trimester Screening:

During the first trimester, around week 11, a screening test for genetic disorders (such as Downs and Trisomy) is made available to new parents. We did tons of research on this test, and determined that its worth as a test is very questionable. In it, they measure a thickness of tissue behind the baby's neck in an ultrasound. This is called the 'nuchal translucency'. This measurement, when combined with the results from a blood test, puts you in either a 'high risk' bin or a 'low risk' bin. The results should not be considered reliable at all, really. In practice, this tool is used mainly to determine who among parents might want to get amniocentesis later (a genetic test done on withdrawn amniotic fluid) or CVS (a weirder test for the same stuff using cells scraped off the placenta)--both of which are painful procedures that present a significantly elevated risk of miscarriage. YIPE. The results for those two tests are accurate enough to be taken seriously, but even they are not immune to error.

As it turns out, in this first test, the 'high risk' bin only indicates that your infant has about a 10% chance of being abnormal. That means a whopping 90% of 'high risk' kids are fine. What's more, the 'low risk' bin carries a percentage risk of genetic disorder too, just somewhat lower. Since I'm relatively young, we figured that my eggs are probably well inside their shelf life, meaning I'm at a low risk for passing on such genetic disorders. Risking my baby's health to test for something I am unlikely to carry seems like a bad idea.

Since this nuchal translucency/blood screening is harmless, even if nearly useless, we decided to get the test anyway just to satisfy our curiosity. The stipulation we set out beforehand was this: under no circumstances would we avail ourselves to further genetic testing. Why? Simply because I'm a lower-risk age group and we would probably never consider termination anyway, especially since even amniocentesis is not correct 100% of the time. If we came out 'high risk,' we declared we would simply disregard the screening results entirely. If we came back 'low risk,' we would breathe a little easier. I would suggest the same to anybody else in the under 30 age category. In the end, we came out in the 'low risk' bin, so we just aren't going to worry about it. Building up to that decision was a little strenuous, but we are sure we made the right choice for us.

So here we are. Miniature-sized Baby kicking, and mom back to normal-ish. Time to get back on that patent agent course I keep claiming I'm studying.

Baby Stuff

My husband and I went on a date to Babies 'R' Us a while ago. Yes, a date in a baby stuff store. There was so much stuff--overwhelming quantities of items in staggering numbers of variations stacked on eight foot high shelves. We stood there among towers of merchandise armed only with fleeting memories of recommendations from friends and books. To say we were intimidated would have been accurate, if not a little understated.

We borrowed a list from the 'registry desk' of things we would likely 'need'. We were sure the list went way beyond need into the realm of overindulgence, but it helped us familiarize ourselves with the kinds of stuff we might find we would appreciate later. Bottle sterilizers, bottle warmers, breast pads, receiving blankets, breast pump, milk bags, bottles, pacifiers, maternity bra... the list went on forever. There must have been 50 or more kinds of bottles. How could I possibly know which one to choose? There were 100 pacifiers on the wall! Baby tubs, booster seats, nasal aspirators, diaper rash cream, lanolin cream, thermometers, food strainers, baby spoons, sippy cups, sleep aids (pillows to keep baby face-up), diaper bags, formula, formula mixers, dishwashing baskets for nipples, bibs, aaaaarrrghh!

We looked at strollers and carseats and stroller-carseat combos called "travel systems." At least in this department we were able to make some determinations of quality. This one is too top-heavy to be stable, this one is not very maneuverable, this one has a poor latching mechanism for the carseat. This one has the most warning stickers (least safe?). We settled on a decent model after much deliberation and were surprised to find that what we considered the sturdiest, safest, most versatile design carried a trendy Eddie Bauer label. There was one task accomplished.

My mother had recommended a portable playpen/cradle combo. They are called 'pack and plays' now, and come in tons of varieties. We figured that this could be useful as a bedside bassinet as well as a portable nursery, so we looked them over. There were at least 15 different models in the aisle, all of which looked exactly the same, but for the colors and pricetags. I finally determined that the flex in the bed at least differed among them, and I picked the least flexible as a potential candidate if we don't inherit one.

There was more: bouncy seats and rockers and cradles and co-sleepers and cradle bedding and clothing as far as the eye could see.

We left reeling from the sheer magnitude of crap that the baby industry pumps out, but then we kept one thing in mind--our friends have children. Lots of children. They all know what worked for them and what didn't, what they really needed and what they didn't. We are very fortunate. My husband and I are surrounded with friends and family who are the most amazing resources. They all have sage advice and wisdom covering all aspects and ages of child rearing and they share freely.

We have already received a very bountiful collection of hand-me-downs from our good friends (and benevolent benefactors), Kelly and Katherine. By some extraordinary stroke of good fortune, we found ourselves pregnant just as their youngest approached six months of age. They have saved us from agonizing over bouncy seats and rockers and playmats and nursing pads with one overwhelmingly generous gesture. We have moved the band equipment out of the nursery and replaced it with these kindly donations. Their generous gifts sit alone in an empty bedroom as brightly colored reminders of the future arrival of their next owner.

The Last Gig

I spend an evening a week rehearsing with a rock band called The Aventines. We play gigs around town occasionally, all for fun of course. It's a blast. I love singing and I love spending time with the band.

Getting pregnant, of course, means everything in life changes, and the band is no exception.

Our band is loud. When I say loud, I mean loud. I mean turn-it-up-to-eleven, three-jackhammers-in-a-closet loud. I'm a tad concerned about noise exposure for the baby, so we've miked up the rehearsal space and now I sing from another room across the hall, listening in on a pair of headphones. So that's pretty good, though it feels very odd listening to them through the wall like that.

We've been rehearsing at our house, in the room that is now earmarked for the nursery, so now we'll be moving all the stuff down to a different room. That's no problem, but a little bit of a pain.

Gigs are another matter altogether. We don't often play first, and the order of the bands playing is often in question, so we usually sit through hours of loud music before we get on and we stick around after to show support for the other bands. So, in preparation for the development of the baby's cochlea, which is supposed to be functional at about 24 weeks, we're going to cut out performing. This is a little painful, but it gives us lots of time to focus on new material and maybe do some recording in the interim.

We had our last gig on Saturday night, at the beginning of my 9th week, at the Red Room on 82nd Ave in Portland, OR. It was really fun. Just a blast. Fortunately for baby, although I thought it was a pretty raw deal when it passed, smoking was outlawed in bars in January. I drank a lot of water and nibbled on some french fries, gave somebody else my free drink tickets, had fun watching my friends get toasted, listened to some cool bands, and went on at eleven. I think we did a pretty good set. The guys were on it, the sound was good, the place was pretty well populated.

We wrapped up, and I was talking to the singer from another band, Mike Helms and the Nefarious Clydes, and I got a little green. I hope Mike didn't take it personally when I made a face. I went to the table and probably thoroughly grossed out some of our friends with a little standard dry heaving action. Someone I hadn't met tried to congratulate me on a good show and I blurted that I might throw up. I asked Garrett to get my stuff from the corner and we left through the front door... right through all the smokers. OOF

Now, as an ex-smoker, I have to say, I loved smoking. I loved everything about it but the phlegm and the cancer risk. I hated the folks that whined about smokers and second hand smoke. I thought the whole anti-smoking movement was just full of self-righteous whiners.

But man, I have to say, that smoke was all I needed. Walking out that front door was walking through a wall of smoke. I called out goodbye to my friends and doubled over once for a good heave on the way to the back parking lot. A random lady coming out of an apartment asked if I was ok, and I said I was fine, just pregnant. What must she have thought? Here is this girl, clearly ill, stumbling out of a bar at 12am, doubled over in the back parking lot. Pregnant? That's a new one.

I almost made it. I tried. But my body couldn't take it anymore and I hurled right there behind the truck. In the parking lot. Behind a bar. How very rock and roll. I think there may have been witnesses. Classy.

In the end, I guess it just means there is more than one reason not to do any gigs until after baby comes.

As a general rule though, most of the time, the nausea is much improved. I think bars probably just smell bad and maybe I didn't get enough protein in my dinner that night. Also, I put a ton of pressure on my gut singing.

A Note About Prenatal Nausea

I went through the first few weeks blissfully imagining that since my mother had managed to have minimal nausea during her pregnancies that I would too. I was so wrong. It started out very minor at exactly 6 weeks and 2 days. At first, I just felt a little out of sorts. I was relaxing on the couch, trying to figure out what was wrong with myself when my sweet husband came in bearing a snack--melted cheese on pickles.

I pretty much shrieked and covered my nose, the vinegar and melted cheddar smell was too much to bear and my stomach lurched at the sight. I pleaded with him to get it away from me. Poor Garrett had no idea why.

No biggie, I'd read about this, it is just part of my body's response to having low blood sugar. I would just eat my way out of it. I armed myself with crackers next to the bed and continued on as normal, taking my prenatal vitamin at some point in the late morning. That weekend I went out to the coast with some very gracious friends of ours. I carried saltines in my coat when we walked around, and I found myself stuffing three or four in my mouth every time a wave of nausea passed over me. We went out to dinner on Saturday night (I was supposed to bring a meatloaf, but I couldn't bring myself to cook on Friday), and I saved half of my hamburger. At 6am on Sunday I scarfed the thing with gusto and went on to have a decent, normal, quasi low queasiness day.

On Sunday night it came on pretty bad. I took my prenatal vitamin late that night and ate three sandwiches to try to fight the feeling in me. Eventually I gave up and went to bed.

The next morning, at about 4am, I awoke with a stomach cramp, crammed four crackers in my mouth and chewed as fast as possible. A minute or two later I sat up, and that bit of movement sent projectile cracker pieces over the floor. Garrett, who is way too good for me, cleaned me up and comforted me. He is, I'm pretty sure, the best man in the world. I was so very whiny. That entire day was a battle with keeping food and liquid down that went like this: eat/drink something, try to keep it down for an hour, make the mistake of getting off the couch to go to the bathroom, throw it up.

How We Coped

By the next morning we had changed our attack. Garrett found the one prenatal vitamin sample that didn't contain zinc or require food with it--a prescription vitamin called PreNexa. It is also higher in vitamin B6 than the others, a huge plus since we had read that low B6 levels in the body can precipitate nausea. I changed out my saltines for a giant tub of peanut butter and a spoon, since peanut butter has lots of protein and a high calorie density. I generally keep that next to my bed and eat a hefty tablespoonful as soon as my eyes open in the morning, then I take my prenatal vitamin right after. I also had my doctor call in a prescription for Metoclopramide, which I reserved to take only if I vomited again. So far, I haven't had to take it yet.

On Tuesday I was keeping down food, on Wednesday I was doing much better, and by Thursday my nausea had been replaced by a head cold. I figure all that puking lowered my immune defenses. The nausea stayed away all weekend and only came back a little on Monday and Tuesday following. Those days it was mostly related to motion: take a few steps, gag, take a few more steps, gag. So while I didn't vomit and was able to eat healthily on those two days, I must admit that I didn't move around much at all. Now that too seems to be better. I eat lots of snacks-we got a box of Cutie clementines at Costco and I've made a huge dent in them. Little packaged string cheeses are great, as are individual yogurt cups. Citrus smells great, so sometimes I save the skin from my last Cutie and breathe through it.

Random superstition: I figure that all this nausea probably means we're having a boy, a ridiculous conclusion I came to after a friend of mine told me her nausea was much worse during her second pregnancy, when she was pregnant with her only son. I have zero medical reason to believe this, I just do.

Fascination, Fear, and Fecundity

Fast forward a bit, and now I am 8 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I am due on September 29, 2009, as calculated by the free online widget you can find in the links section, where there is also a link to a calendar of my pregnancy. Just yesterday I had my second ultrasound, in which we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat. My husband and I both teared up a little as we listened to the strong, rhythmic pumping. The heartbeat is very fast but steady, a startling 146 beats per minute. I was surprised by how much of the baby was visible. You could easily make out the head and little limbs from on the monitor. It was so beautiful.

Once, not too long ago, I knew, rationally, that pregnancy and parenthood are nothing new, that anybody can reproduce, that it is nothing special in the grand scheme of things, that it is just biology and population growth. I now believe I was wrong. I now know that, personally, it is so much more than that.

I feel like my husband and I have just found ourselves saddled with the most important job in the world. I feel like nothing carries more weight than the welfare of this child, as though any demonstration of responsibility or personal growth before now was just practice, like this is the real thing--what life was all about from the beginning. It is at once awe inspiring and absolutely terrifying.

These revelations are part of the mental symptoms of my pregnancy, and of course every pregnancy is different. There are plenty of physical symptoms as well. For instance, I had mild abdominal pain, which was for me, mainly on the right hand side. I did a little poking around on the internet to see what was 'normal' and eventually determined that such lopsided pain could be an early symptom of ectopic pregnancy, wherein the zygote implants outside the uterus, usually in a fallopian tube. I really worked myself up over this, finding out that ectopic pregnancies can lead to massive internal bleeding, always end in the death of the fetus, sometimes in the death of the mother, usually require surgical removal, and indicate a potential for future fertility problems.

So the first call that my OB's office received from me was a plea to have an ultrasound as soon as possible to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. I had not met my obstetrician nor had my intake appointment. I really tried to be composed, but I'm sure they heard the frantic tone in my voice. As it turned out, at just over 5 weeks, there it was, hanging out in utero just where it was supposed to be. At that time there was nothing to see but the gestational sac, which looked empty and black on the monitor. They did see that my right ovary was larger than my left, and there was a black spot, presumably indicative of recent ovulation. Now, three weeks later, I still feel an occasional twinge on that side and the large black spot was on the more recent ultrasound.

A short time later we had our first appointment, deemed the 'nurse intake appointment,' where a very young nurse gave us a brief summary of what to expect. I was a bit disappointed to find out that most of the doctors whose bios had influenced me to choose this clinic were not available for delivery at the hospital near me, even though they are all listed as staff. It felt a little bit like bait and switch. My OB's are with the Women's Clinic of Vancouver, WA, a group practice, and the hospital is the Family Birthing Center at Southwest Washington Medical Center. A link to their websites is available on the link page. We left there with scads of prenatal vitamin samples, some baby formula advertising, heads swimming with information, and some very scary decisions to make regarding genetic testing, which I'll go into another day. At that point I was happy and relatively symptom free, apart from the abdominal cramps. That changes. Every day is different.

Honey...I'm Pregnant

It was early in the morning on a Saturday and my husband was still asleep when I took my first pregnancy test. We had been considering having children for some time and had already lowered the last of our pharmaceutical defenses, so it shouldn't have been a surprise. Except, we hadn't decided to actively try to conceive, it was more like we had actively decided to relinquish our control in the area and let the chips fall where they may. So we were a bit surprised after all.

As it happens, the health teachers of the world were all right--it really only took once. This is funny, since I'm sure that over the previous ten years I had forgotten to take more than a couple of birth control pills to more than a couple of negative results. Truly, by this point I had myself thoroughly convinced that I was probably infertile. I noticed the first sign of potential pregnancy only a couple of days later when an unusual twinge of pain crossed my abdomen. Sure enough, a couple of weeks after that, on the aforementioned Saturday, I got out the free pregnancy test I'd ordered from our insurance company and fumbled with the directions and a glass and an eyedropper...

and then there were two lines.

I don't think I peeled my eyes from the thing during the whole 3 minute 'development' time period. I staggered, lost my breath, covered my mouth, made a weird yelp. Once I regained my composure, I gently woke up my sweet slumbering husband and whispered in my sweetest voice, "Honey, I think I know why I've been so crabby recently..."

"mmmph?" he replied, squinting through sleep-laced eyes.
"I'm Pregnant."

A grin slid across his groggy face, and we hurriedly threw on some clothes and dragged ourselves to the nearest Walgreens to get as many pregnancy tests as we could lay our hands on (which turned out to be only 6). I gave into the truth after the third one, but found that the extras came in handy over the next week as periodic sanity checks.