Infant Care

What does an infant need? There are so many opinions and books on the subject that just asking the question can drive you batty. There are psychologists and parents alike who espouse their own theories on infant care--sometimes trademarked theories, like the 'Brazleton Touchpoints Approach(tm),' or Dr. Sears's 'attachment parenting,' and who could forget Dr. Spock (not the pointy-eared one, the pediatrician). Trendy parenting terms like 'Kangaroo care' or 'natural infant hygiene' are bandied on online bulletin boards and in magazines.

All these must surely have their advantages and are surely helpful to some. Hell, I'll buy into them, it's not like I know any better, but the sheer verbosity in these piles of theories can overwhelm anybody and potentially clutter up what's really important. Also, one must take care when reading, as use of these terms in common conversation is often viewed as the first recognizable symptom of Over-Read Parent Disorder--a serious disorder that is currently overlooked but likely soon-to-be classified by the psychoanalytic community in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. I jest.

So all this emotional and psychological development and all these intangible love and attention setting parenting styles are surely important; but, for the sake of simplification and for my own sanity, I figure that the most important things that an infant needs boil down to the purely physiological at the most basic level (I'll distort Abraham Maslow's heirarchy here):

• food
• sleep
• air and shelter (the most obvious to account for)
  

The indicators that show whether these needs are being met sufficiently can be measured as :

• poop
• pee
• growth (weight/height/milestones)
• body temperature (homeostasis)

(Note: Maslow calls these needs too, but he's dead. I'm not even addressing safety needs and emotional needs here. Those are important, sure, but they aren't physiological needs. Pay attention. Jeez.)

So I figure, based on anecdotal evidence I have gathered haphazardly, that it is WAY TOO EASY for parents to fall into infant care habits that strain all the interfamilial relationships, especially that singular relationship that launched two consenting adults into parenthood in the first place.

I also figure that the easiest way to avoid slipping into those habits would be to have a clear outline of when and how baby's basic needs are being met. With a clear record, patterns can be identified, solutions can be devised to attack problems that arise, and the whole mess can be much more adaptable in the event of a breakdown somewhere.

Of course, a clear record means a chart. I like charts. It is an inherited trait.

I made one today on the Great Computer, so now I have a simplified system for encoding, down to 15 minute increments: feeding times and delivery methods, milk expression outside feedings, poops, pees, and sleeping patterns. There is also space for notes about milestones, poop character, weight (to be taken with a digital fish scale), length, or temperature. I am way too proud of myself.

Since baby is eating a lacticized version what I eat, I will also try to document what I consume during the day. We'll see how long that lasts.

A wise friend of mine giggled when I told her about my Brilliant Chart Idea. I told her how fool-proof and simple it would be, and how much easier our lives would be, how our scientific approach would surely pay off. She said to me, between snorts, "That's a pretty good plan, but you're forgetting something."

"What's that?" I said innocently.

"There's going to be a monkey in your laboratory."